Being an Ally to Women: It’s Time to Step Up

Women don’t just need a round of applause once a year; they need men to step up, listen, and take action.

If that idea makes you feel a little defensive, take a breath. This isn’t about guilt, blame, or being ‘one of the bad guys.’ It’s about recognising that gender inequality still exists, and that men have a powerful role to play in changing the culture.

Let’s look at the numbers. Women still do, on average, twice as much unpaid domestic labour than men. The total renumeration average gender pay gap in Australia sits at around 21%, so for every $1 on average a man makes, women earn 78c. Over the course of a year, that difference adds up to $28,425.. And when it comes to safety, the statistics are stark - on average, one woman is killed every 4 days.

These aren’t just numbers; they’re real lives impacted by a system that still treats women unfairly. As Lee Chambers highlights in his TEDx talk, when men step up as allies, they don’t just support women - they create a more balanced, fair, and enriched society for everyone. His insights reinforce the need for action beyond words, moving from passive support to active engagement.

Here’s the hard truth: if we, as men, stay silent, we’re part of the problem. Silence isn’t neutrality - it’s compliance. The good news? We have the power to change this. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being present and taking action.

So, where do we start? Here are nine ways to be a true ally—not just in the big moments, but in the everyday stuff that actually shifts the dial.

1. Realise It’s All Connected

It’s not just about the extreme cases—harassment, abuse, or violence. It’s the ‘harmless’ jokes, the casual dismissals, the moments that fly under the radar. Those ‘little’ things create a culture where bigger problems thrive. If we want to change the big stuff, we have to be willing to call out the small stuff, too.

2. Speak Up When It’s Awkward

Picture this: you’re out with the boys, and someone cracks a joke that crosses the line. It’s easy to laugh it off, stay quiet, or let it slide. But real allyship means stepping up.

Try this: “Hey mate, I actually don’t find that funny - it’s a bit off, lets talk about something else.”

Yeah, it might feel uncomfortable for a second, but the impact of speaking up? That lasts a lot longer.

3. Break the Silence

Silence is powerful - and not always in a good way. Too often, men don’t speak out about violence against women because they feel like it’s not their place. But here’s the truth: men’s voices are needed. When we talk about these issues with our mates, our kids, or our colleagues, we shift the conversation. If we say nothing, we’re not neutral—we’re complicit.

4. Redefine What It Means to Be a Leader

Being an ally isn’t about being ‘soft’—it’s about being strong enough to stand for what’s right. You don’t need a title to lead. When you model respect in your home, your workplace, or your social circles, you’re setting a new standard. Leadership isn’t about power. It’s about influence.

5. Challenge the Norms

Right now, the guy who makes the sexist comment often gets the laugh. What if that changed? What if being disrespectful actually lost you status instead of gaining it? We have the power to set new norms, where calling out bad behaviour is the thing that earns respect—not the other way around.

6. Call on Leaders to Step Up

This isn’t just about individual actions—it’s about the systems we’re part of. Schools, workplaces, sports teams—all of these spaces need to do better. If you’re in a position to push for real policies, training, and cultural shifts, do it. And if you’re not? Speak up anyway. The more voices demanding change, the faster it happens.

7. Make It Personal

Plenty of blokes will go all out to defend their mum, sister, or daughter, but then turn a blind eye to how other women are treated. Respect isn’t just for the women we know—it’s for all women. If you wouldn’t accept it happening to your family, don’t accept it happening at all.

8. Start Small, But Start Now

You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight. Start with one thing:

• Call out an inappropriate joke.
• Check in on a mate who might be struggling.
• Share stories or resources that promote respect.

Small actions build momentum. Momentum builds change.

9. Keep Growing

You won’t always get it right. No one does. What matters is that you keep trying. Reflect on your own behaviour. Be open to feedback. Keep learning. This isn’t about ticking a box—it’s about making a real, lasting shift.

It’s Not About Being a Hero. It’s About Being Human.

Being an ally isn’t about swooping in to save the day. It’s about showing up, speaking up, and making sure respect isn’t an exception—it’s the norm. It’s about deciding that silence isn’t an option.

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